Okay, uhm...I have not written to you dear Blogger in a minute! I miss it! Tonight upon entering my abode I decieded tonight woukd be sans La Tele (TV) to see if I got more accomplished...really just thought more - got my ducks in a row. Lately I have been feeling a bit less than confident which I HATE. I hate it when other people can make me feel that way -- or is is it ME making me feel that way? I digress!
I seem to have all these grand plans and not implementing them as of yet. I admit, I have implemented some - which for me is just not good enough. See, I know I can do better - do more -- but alsa, I dont. I recently took this public speaking course at The Learning Annex because I think I suck at public speaking -- funny thing happened. The overwhelming response - teacher included, was that I was incredibly poised, showed no signs of nervousness, and did a great presentation. In my mind this meant - the teacher was not good and couldnt possibly know what she was talking about - that the other students were just trying to be nice. After I basically begged and pleaded for "the truth" - a "you could be better if.." the instructor said that she sensed that I suffer from perfectionism...Now his had me thinking. Maybe I do. I mean but is it really any more than the next person? Who dosent ALWAYS wish they had done better, who dosent ALWAYS see SOMETHING wrong with what they said or did in a situation no matter that outcome -be it positive or negative? I dont know if I have ever had a time where I didnt think - "damn - I should have said X or should have done Y." I just never feel satisfied inside. Should I get therapy? What a way to come back to my blog, huh? Oh well, I am only being real.
